The 7 Greatest Enemies of our Happiness

Back to routine: personal growth as the only way to happiness

• Experts say that we do not know how to connect well with ourselves and that we are unable to do it in a productive way for our personal and emotional growth, the great forgotten in our way in search of ‘happiness’.
• We all have a natural faculty that allows us to be happy in our lives, however, we are not taught to develop it, nor to discern between what makes us happy in the short term and what really matters to each of us.
• Recent studies show that personal triumph depends 80% on emotional intelligence and 20% on acquired knowledge. In other words, happiness is achieved by awakening the highest values such as love, forgiveness, compassion, etc., as opposed to anger, resentment or envy.

The brief period of vacation time is usually the only time we allow ourselves to dedicate more time to our own needs, our inner thoughts and personal expectations. However, immersed again in the routine, we leave the good intentions behind in tenths of a second, forgotten among the daily ‘obligations’. Moreover, experts assure that, although we try to disconnect to dedicate time to ourselves, we are unable to do it in a productive way for our personal and emotional growth, and yet, they are essential in our path in search of happiness.

Science has demonstrated the need to develop a higher level of awareness as the only path to happiness. Marina Bassas Vivó, clinical psychologist and member of Top Doctors® explains the importance of paying attention to this aspect of our life, which directly influences our quality of life and the importance of knowing how to discern between what makes us happy only in the short term and what really makes us fully enjoy our lives.

Personal growth and emotional education, an unfinished business

According to Marina Bassas, we all have a natural ability that allows us to be happy in our lives. The problem, until now, has been that this quality has been little developed in comparison with others, due to the fact that today’s society has been more oriented to intellectual and labor competitiveness than to teaching the study of personal growth from an emotional point of view. Fortunately, there is a growing social awareness and schools are beginning to introduce values related to personal growth that will truly influence the happiness of the individual. A happy childhood predicts a healthy future society.

“Although great efforts are being made in many schools, we are not usually taught to take loving responsibility for ourselves on an emotional level at school and little within the family environment because it is difficult for our parents to pass on to us what they themselves have not been taught. Now is when we are beginning to be taught to love ourselves, to develop our capacities to be able to maintain ourselves in a state of happiness and self-acceptance that allows us to live in a fuller and calmer way. Universal change begins with individual awareness. Each person must understand that they need to make a loving commitment to themselves to bring about real change that will influence their lives in a positive way and then influence the lives of others”.

Ms. Bassas explains in her personal growth courses how our brain has the innate potential to behave like animals or like Gods, and that it is up to us to become aware of how we function, detect our fears and attachments, and determine which are the obstacles or fears that paralyze us on the road to achieving happiness.

The 7 great enemies of happiness

But what are usually the main enemies of happiness? The psychologist explains some key factors:

1. Emotional control. It is essential to know how to manage emotions, being aware that people are much more than the different emotions we experience at certain times, and in this way, to ensure that emotions do not enslave us and dominate our lives. For example, when we are angry and feel anger we destroy and we are capable of doing things that in a state of relaxation we would never have done.
2. Ignorance. Intelligent people treat themselves well and consequently treat others well.
3. Negative thoughts or limiting beliefs. We must learn to detect the automatic thoughts in our mind and not give them credit. We must observe ourselves and be able to take science of these thoughts to block them and be able to develop new thoughts that allow us to live a freer and more creative life. Avoid thoughts like the student who fails math and thinks he will never be a good student. If he thinks about it, he will realize that even if he is not good at mathematics, he will be good in other areas of life. Fortunately, not all of us are good at the same thing.
4. Fear. It is one of the main enemies of the human being since it paralyzes us. Whenever we feel it, we can ask ourselves what is the worst thing that could happen to me if I dare to do what I want to do? We will see that the consequences are not as catastrophic as our mind makes us believe. If we also decide to take action, we will have given ourselves permission to prove that our greatest fears are rarely confirmed and we will soon discover that we are capable. Fear is overcome by taking action and this will make us grow in self-esteem. self-esteem.
5. Not knowing how to forgive. We must recognize that we all, as human beings, can and do feel laziness, jealousy, anger or other destructive emotions. The first act to improve is to recognize these emotions and forgive them. This will make it much easier for us to forgive others. To stop criticizing and judging saves a lot of energy.
6. Acceptance. We must try to transform and improve everything that depends on ourselves and learn to accept the situations that come and that do not depend on us. For example to accept a rupture on the part of the other person. Acceptance always understood as an act of maturity and not of resignation.
7. To recognize the voices of the EGO and the conscience (the angel and the demon) We must learn to recognize these two voices and to know from where we want to answer, from our most basic instincts or from the highest values such as mercy or empathy. It is a personal decision.

According to the psychologist, for change to occur we only need ourselves. “If the keys to happiness already live in us, why not work on conquering them instead of settling for the learned mechanisms? It is madness to expect things to change if we continue to behave in the same way,” he concludes.