Any person can be a victim of domestic violence. Knowing the profile of the aggressor and knowing how to identify him/her is important to escape from his/her networks.
Who can be a victim of domestic violence
The victim can be any person, from any social class, regardless of education, culture or religion. There is no specific psychological profile that fits the victim profile. In fact, this person can be strong and a fighter in professional, social and even political spheres and yet, without realizing it, may have fallen into the trap of emotional abuse. This is a psychological degradation that will undoubtedly be exponential and, without external intervention, carries a high risk of mortality.
Domestic violence: how to identify the aggressor
The profile of the aggressor, unlike the victims, is delineated and, through careful observation, the potential perpetrator can be identified, either to flee or to help an acquaintance to do so.
Warning signs to help identify the perpetrator of domestic violence
Based on psychological analyses of antisocial-paranoid-narcissistic personality profiles, and tested by the U.S. Federal Department of Corrections, the common traits of all perpetrators have been grouped under the acronym R.A.G.E.
Rage means rage, anger, rage or fury. We assume that this is the engine that drives the unstoppable desire to cause harm. Evil that usually begins subtly by psychological abuse, emotional blackmail, mockery, humiliation or humiliation, until it reaches the physical terrain that, as is known, escalates to the very act of killing.
I have devised the recognition of the aggressor’s profile by remembering these four characteristics:
– R, for Rapid, Repetitive and hyper reactive. The individual in question shows great rapidity in his mood swings or changes of attitude with respect to everything he experiences as a threat of loss of control towards the victim. He/she will quickly put him/herself on guard in order to reaffirm the victim’s dependence on him/her. Reactions are predictably quick, cunning and repeated. The use of violence is subtle at first and escalates over time: from emotional abuse and humiliation to threatening intimidation.
– A, for Adust, Rough, angry, choleric. Perpetrators often come from dysfunctional families, hard and unhappy childhoods, where they themselves have been victims of the abusive treatment they now profess. They have often witnessed acts of violence, grown up in fear and lack of emotional support. As adults they become emotionally immature, insecure, with a very fragile self-esteem, who need constant reaffirmation to shake off the feeling of inadequacy. As soon as they start an intimate-affective relationship, jealousy and distrust appear, so that any sign of autonomy that their partner may show, will be a reason for him/her to mark his/her territorial dominance and repress what he/she lives as a threat.
– G, for Gain. Perpetrators of domestic violence transform the couple’s relationship into a power competition, a matter of winning or losing. They cannot conceive of differences of opinion or accept compromises or negotiate different points of view. In the face of conflict, they will seize any advantage that allows them to “win”. They use weapons such as intimidation or lies, or hide information. They will always be fierce competitors. On the other hand, they will try to show an image of success whenever they can, especially outside the home. Very concerned about what others may think of them, in social situations, they show an exaggerated chivalry, always being gentle and friendly on the outside, while carefully hiding their violent tendencies. They even give the impression of being more emotionally solid than their partners, whom they treat as unstable or neurotic.
– E, for Elusive, Elusive, Evasive. This faculty is the one that most traps their victims. This is the reason why intelligent and sensitive people who are very capable in other areas may find themselves prisoners of an emotionally harassing relationship directed towards violence. The perpetrators are great actors, seducers and conquerors. Given the need to dominate and possess, they will make great efforts to gain the dependence and control of the victim, giving the impression of being enviable partners: they accompany the partner to work, go to pick them up, give them money at the expense of others, call them several times a day for no apparent reason, send flowers… they do everything that might seem to be considerations but are really spider threads that are suffocating the relationship until it suffocates.
In general, when the victim, beyond suspicion, starts to become aware and recognizes that she is trapped, is when she will begin to take steps to break this routine. It is to be expected that, then, the aggressor will react quickly (R), with harshness (A), justifying his/her reaction by blaming the other person, profit (G), for having “despised” or ignored the rhythm or routine to which he/she wants to go (E).
How to escape domestic violence
It should be emphasized that, once the escape has begun, it is necessary to act firmly until the end. Do not hesitate to seek professional psychological or psychiatric help, police protection or involve the relevant judicial authorities. Once the perpetrator knows he has been denounced, he will take it as a matter of pride, without considering risks or consequences. It is estimated that if there have already been death threats, the risk of the crime being completed increases by up to 75% more than if the victim “puts up with” or “tolerates” the abuse. Herein lies the importance of identifying the situation as early as possible and acting with caution, diligence and great conviction.
On the other hand, the defense mechanism of choice for perpetrators is self-disconnection from their moral conscience. They easily resort to dissociation or alienation of their own feelings as well as those of others. They are characterized by an incapacity for empathy, so they will rarely feel guilty. Even once sentenced and in prison, the only thing they regret is the loss of their freedom, but they feel no remorse about the evil caused.
Regarding victims, the illusion of being able to change someone in the name of love is useless. These are behaviors that are very difficult to change and the most important thing is self-confidence.
Unfortunately, deaths from domestic violence continue to occur every day. Hence the importance of breaking the silence by learning to identify RAGE traits as soon as we sense we see or are living in a toxic or unhealthy relationship.