In 2000, ‘Unfaithful’, a wonderful movie about parallel relationships, was released. One critic said about it that “the word infidelity is too much like unhappiness”.
By infidelity we mean the maintenance of sexual or romantic relationships with a third person behind the partner’s back. When it is discovered, it is an event that never leaves things as they were previously, and always places the couple at a point far removed from the baseline. It is an earthquake from which it is practically impossible to escape unscathed, not even by using the pattern that previously served as a nexus for the relationship.
Many factors can be the cause of the maintenance of a relationship outside the couple. The most frequent are the immaturity of the relationship and the existence of a pathology in one of the partners, such as manic phases, depression or sex addiction, as well as stress, egomania or phobia in one of the partners. When you discover an infidelity you lose your present, but also your future and your past with that person. There are too many things at once to be easy to digest, and they always reveal a previous problem in the couple’s structure.
What does infidelity lead to?
Infidelity not only leads to unhappiness, but also proceeds from it. On many occasions, separation is a much healthier and more mature decision than stubbornness in maintaining the couple against all odds. A mature person can recognize the end of their relationship, which will allow them to separate and be prepared to establish new romantic and sexual relationships.
We often tend to demonize the unfaithful, but it is key to understand them. Many times the cheated one is as responsible for the infidelity as the one who commits it because he/she has been able to create a fictitious relationship that only satisfies his/her own needs.
Help for infidelity
Infidelity is the fever of a sick relationship. That is why it is necessary to know the roots of the problem and solve it as much as possible. Taking these earthquakes as opportunities means redefining things better and bringing individuals to a happiness and well-being that without a borderline situation they would never have been able to achieve.