How many times we hear or say: I feel sad, I feel like I don’t feel like it, I feel bad. And it is true that we feel like that. Especially in spring, we must pay attention not to fall into spring depressions.
We feel, we have souls and hearts that make us see that we feel, but if we feel it is because we think. Every positive thought is a positive emotion. If you don’t believe me, give it a try. So what goes wrong with our thoughts when we feel sad? Yes, our thoughts go from being positive to being automatic and negative. They send us messages such as: “You are not worth it”, “You can’t”, “You don’t know how”, “It’s going to be bad for you”, etc. Why delve into those thoughts that we know so well…, or not?
What leads us to negative thoughts?
Let’s make a small analysis of these “intimate enemies”:
- Automatic thoughts. Mmm. Are they really? Actually, they are thoughts that seem automatic because they appear suddenly and uninvited to spoil the party, but in reality, we call them ourselves.
- They are negative. What’s more, they are catastrophic. They always put us in the worst possible situation.
- They are idiosyncratic. They belong to us, they speak of our innermost fears and insecurities.
- They are expressed in “would have to” “should have to” terms.
- The good news is that they are usually lies. Negative automatic thoughts influence the way we see reality, they produce “cognitive distortions” and this distortion provokes emotions that are not very constructive for us.
What can we do with negative thoughts?
Thinking positive is easier than it seems. Let’s go with the tricks: get a notebook and write down verbatim those thoughts that come to you without being called. Write them down and leave a blank space next to them. What are we going to do with that blank space once all my negative automatic thoughts are collected? Face them with reality. You will see that the vast majority of them have no basis whatsoever.
Many will be unscientific, for example, “All people are selfish”, really, all people? Some will be generalizations. From a situation we take a negative data and with that we make a generalization. For example, we went to dinner at a new restaurant. Everything was perfect, but there was no pennyroyal. We cannot infer that the dinner was a disaster. You still have another blank space left. When faced with a negative thought, can you think differently? Write it down! Help yourself to generate alternative thoughts to the negative ones.
Be careful with thoughts that disqualify ourselves: they are forbidden by the first law of Psychology to the Rescue. Every time we say something bad about ourselves (which, moreover, is usually a generalization: just because something doesn’t work out well, I’m not useless or a disaster). Let’s be very careful with the words we say because each word is marked in the brain and leaves an imprint. If we have to leave footprints, let them be of things that are worthwhile.
By way of summary, some verses of Don Ramón Campoamor:
In this treacherous world, there is no truth or lie: everything is according to the glass through which you look at it.
Put on the glasses to see things well, go out into the street with the glasses to see life in a rosy color. Have you ever felt pain? Of course you have, we have all felt it at some point. Integrate it into your life in a natural way, but without suffering. So now you know, think well and you’ll get it right every time.