Our daily routine flows at an enormous speed, making the scarcity of time and the need to obtain immediate results the main drivers of our rhythm of life. Young people today have become a generation that, conditioned by social networks, consider life as an exercise in competition and comparison in which success is at a quasi-divine level.
Expectations that are too high and unattainable degrees of perfection that take away one’s physical and mental health, teaching the importance of reaching the goal over the enjoyment of the journey: ‘having’ over ‘being’.
Perfectionism can be a virtue. Planning things meticulously, executing techniques in detail, being meticulous with personal work and demanding with the results are positive qualities for any person, the problem comes when they are extreme. People with an excessive level of perfectionism can also be rigid in their convictions, highly critical of themselves and tireless. All of these characteristics lead directly to suffering, frustration and anxiety.
This attitude towards perfection generally reveals insecure personalities who seek to defend themselves against any possibility of error or failure. Fear of rejection and external criticism require the person to raise their standards to stratospheric levels, where there is no possibility of failure. But we must make it clear that perfection is impossible to achieve and, therefore, it is common to find profound cases of depression and anxiety in young adults who see how their expectations will never be fulfilled.
Consequences and symptoms of excessive perfectionism
Some studies on this subject, such as that of Brock University in Ontario, show very interesting data on the health of people in the 24 to 35 age group: those who are perfectionists usually suffer from pain, insomnia and fatigue. We can conclude, therefore, that perfectionism has certain physical consequences that are somatized in sleep problems, digestive problems, headaches or dermatitis derived from this increased stress.
It is also common to find cases that progressively lead to the well-known Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD). Compulsively establishing daily habits that are satisfactory and pleasurable can function as an escape route from the anxiety generated by not achieving perfection and, of course, can exponentially impede the day-to-day life of the sufferer.
The consequences of the excess of perfection can be found in the work environment, for example, as an extreme waste of time in revisions and reviews, as well as a greater slowness in the execution of diverse tasks. On a personal level, the perfectionist tends to be attracted to someone who is not so perfectionist and who, in addition to showing a more natural side to his or her way of being, acts as a guide in improving self-esteem and self-confidence.
Overcome obsession and accept limits
The constant search for perfection is not a disease nor is it a serious behavioral disorder, although it is advisable to control it because it can evolve unfavorably if we unconsciously let ourselves be carried away by it. Learning to manage our emotions and finding the middle ground is not easy, but not impossible:
- Be realistic: Know your limitations and, above all, be aware of them to turn them into your allies. No one has unlimited capacity and even the most successful people that come to mind have many weaknesses. If you know how far you can go, you won’t be affected by other people’s comments and you can stop blaming yourself for not being better than the rest. Your confidence will only improve.
- Don’t compare yourself: Find your own criteria and establish your own best version of yourself. The important thing is to be better than you were yesterday. If you find yourself comparing yourself, set off all the alarms and look for new points of view from which to analyze the situation, there are sure to be positive perspectives to adopt.
- Enjoy: Find time for leisure, introspection and taking good care of yourself. It is not necessary to be one hundred percent dedicated to something all the time, it is much better to diversify your work and enjoy moments of disconnection. Let that feeling carry over to the most stressful moments of your life.
- Make a mistake: Make a mistake and analyze what happens next: Was it serious? How do I feel? Feel the discomfort of not finding everything to your liking and perfectly arranged and, little by little, it will stop generating anxiety. Force yourself that some things around you are not in place and avoid the temptation to put everything in its place.
Finally, work on yourself and look inward. Use relaxation techniques that improve your stress level, put yourself in the hands of a professional to help you instill your own self-esteem, respect yourself and speak to yourself the way you would like to be spoken to. Recognizing the right to be wrong is the first step in allowing yourself the luxury of learning from your mistakes, something that will undoubtedly bring out the best version of yourself.