There are times when the wrong words or methods are used to try to help someone suffering from depression. On the occasion of today’s European Day of Depression, Dr. Conrado Montesinos Fernández, specialist in Psychiatry, National Coordinator of Psychiatry of the National Assistance Foundation for the Help of the Depressed (ANAED) and member of Top Doctors, explains some tips to help people suffering from depression.
What should we know about depression before helping someone suffering from it?
Depression is one of the plagues of the 21st century: it is estimated that 20% of the world’s population is at risk of falling into depression during their lifetime. It is also estimated that, around the year 2020, depression could be the leading cause of disability due to illness in the countries of the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development (OECD). It is therefore a serious disease that requires a lot of economic resources and that we must be very aware of.
It should also be borne in mind that depression is a state of deep sadness that must last for at least two weeks. During a depressive state there are also symptoms such as lack of illusions, irritability, apathy, tiredness, sleep disorders, eating disorders and possible psychosomatizations (physical problems derived from psychological problems, such as anxiety or stress).
When we see someone who is sad, with a tendency to isolation, who neglects his personal appearance, with a great pessimism and little given to communicate, we may be dealing with a person with depression.
What are the most common myths about depression?
Depression is often confused with sadness. Indeed, depression is sadness, but not only this: as mentioned above, there are other symptoms. So, while sadness is a state, depression is an illness and can be serious.
Another erroneous tendency is to think that one has depression by choice or that one suffers from it because one is weak, but this is not the case: anyone can suffer from this illness throughout his or her life, no one is free.
What can we do or say to help a person with depression?
The best thing we can do is to listen to him, there is no better therapy, without judging him or criticizing him. It is also recommended to encourage him/her to practice sports, eat properly, try to avoid social isolation and, if necessary, recommend a visit to a mental health professional. Obviously, if the depression is secondary to a specific cause, you can also try to counsel him or her on how to resolve it.
What should we not say to a person with depression?
The worst thing we can do to a person with depression is to say “Cheer up!”. We probably say it with the best intentions in the world, but that comment, in the depressed person, is received as a censure of his behavior, as a criticism of his poor ability to fight his depression. This may even worsen their emotional state, as the person with depression may interpret that a supposed personal and character weakness is being thrown in their face.