Jealousy between siblings is a perfectly normal state, which occurs when one of the siblings feels that the parents prefer the new sibling. From Psikids, they explain how parents should face this problem.
Sibling jealousy could be defined as “a subjective state characterized by a feeling of frustration when believing that the parents no longer correspond to the child emotionally, or at least with the intensity or strength that the child would like or need”. Thus, jealousy between siblings is normal and difficult to avoid, although it is the parents who must manage this feeling which, with the passage of time, will disappear. Generally, jealousy begins with the arrival of a new brother or sister. At first, the child experiences great joy and excitement at the arrival of a new playmate. However, as changes in the family dynamics occur, over the days the child begins to feel jealousy. Each child will act in a certain way, depending on his temperament, age and whether it is his first sibling or not. As a rule, the behavior tends to worsen and become more regressive, even with infantile behaviors of imitation of the new sibling, such as peeing at night, wanting to use the pacifier again, changes in the way of expressing oneself and even eating disorders as the child becomes more selective with food.
What can parents do when sibling jealousy appears?
First of all, it is a matter of showing a great deal of affection and patience with the child. Thus, it is essential to create an atmosphere of balance in the treatment between siblings. For example, dedicating more time to family play helps in this task, strengthening bonds and facilitating communication between members. At the same time, it is essential not to compare siblings, as this may affect the child’s self-concept, establishing labels and running the risk of hurting sensitivities. It is much more effective to emphasize positive behavior than recriminations or scolding. When jealous behavior appears, it is more effective to withdraw attention, since this is precisely what the child is looking for. Thus, attention should come when the child behaves well. It can also be useful to use advantages and privileges for the older sibling. A good example would be to let him go to bed a little later or to allow him to do certain activities. Another possibility is to try to involve the child in the care of the younger sibling, such as bath time or mealtimes.
How can sibling jealousy be solved and when should a professional be consulted?
As a general rule, sibling relationships have their own dynamics, so if there is a good family environment it will be a matter of time before these problems are overcome. However, if the jealousy response is exaggerated, prolonged in time and occurs with great discomfort and deterioration in family relationships, a visit to a specialist in Child Psychology would be beneficial.