Faced with the complicated situation of confinement that we are suffering, where emotions are favored, such as uncertainty about what may happen, linked to emotions of anxiety, frustration, fear and helplessness, closely related to thoughts such as: “What will happen to me when this situation ends? Will I still have a job? With the sighting of FTEs, layoffs, closed businesses and the economy quite paralyzed it is normal and understandable that these emotions become more frequent and intense in the face of such perceived circumstances.
Uncertainty is a deep-rooted feeling in our current society that has a small tolerance for experimentation in any individual of our species, due to the fact that human beings are governed by two fundamental principles: well-being and survival.
- The principle of well-being is governed by the search for pleasure, as well as the avoidance of discomfort or displeasure, favoring emotions of tranquility and security.
- The survival principle, on the other hand, is governed by the search for physical and psychological integrity, also favoring the feeling of tranquility and security.
When we are born, innately, as part of a biological process, we feel calm and secure when our parents, or significant caregivers, show us attention, affection, speak to us with a slow tone and an appropriate volume and cadence of voice. On the contrary, when the tone is higher, the rhythm faster and more hostile, lacking closeness and affection, the child feels uneasy and insecure.
For this simple fact, the human being handles with high anxiety the situations of uncertainty and makes a constant search to favor the homeostasis, the internal balance of the organism.
How to handle uncertainty and anxiety in this situation we are living?
Starting from the previous premise and, all this, associated with the need for control, feeling calm and secure increases the feeling of control over ourselves and our environment. Therefore, it is important in these cases to understand the following:
- Uncertainty is not bad. It is part of life and if we think about it, we will see that few situations obey only our control. This is for the simple reason that the individual is in constant relationship with the environment and, therefore, receives responses from it, it is a bidirectional relationship.
- When faced with the question: “Will I have a job when this situation is over?”, a more accurate way of assessing it is to choose real data that provide us with true and current information. An example would be to talk to managers or bosses who will inform us of the real course of events, assessing from this information the probabilities of keeping this job or not. Then, we would also evaluate other possible scenarios such as: “If I were to lose my job, what other options do I have? Could I find another job? Could it be an opportunity to continue my training and acquire new knowledge?
- Anxiety is an emotion that, as I have mentioned, is closely linked to uncertainty, and is activated as an alarm signal when the body perceives a threat or danger and in the brain, especially the frontal lobe, which is informing the body that it has to do something quickly to survive. For this reason, it is mobilized and the emotion fulfills an adaptive function in this case.
How can we regain calm and self-confidence?
- By accepting what we are feeling and validating it. There are no good and bad emotions, but all of them fulfill a function and are useful for the survival of the species. Concern about uncertainty must also be validated in the face of an uncertain future and, based on the principles of well-being and survival, this will be activated in many situations, so it is essential to measure the extent of our concern in measurable and objective terms, i.e., data for and against, contrasted information.
- It favors fluid and flexible thinking, since the more alternatives and/or possibilities we identify, the more likely we will be able to manage anxiety and uncertainty in a more adjusted way. So, if I only think that if I lose my job it is the worst thing that can happen to me, the anxiety and the environment will become stronger and stronger. However, if on the contrary, if I value other options, in case this could happen, such as: another job, possibilities of growth and training, etc., I will keep the emotions at appropriate levels.
- Getting out of your comfort zone. In your daily life, experiment and expose yourself to situations that you do not like, generate uncertainty, some discomfort or frustration. This will help you to verify that even if you do not feel completely safe in a situation, you can accept it and the consequences experienced are not so terrible. Likewise, you will be able to experience how to handle suffering, that feeling that is part of life, and that is an important tool to develop concepts such as frustration tolerance and to favor resilience.
- Performing diaphragmatic breathing techniques, relaxation and Mindfulness exercises, which will help us, not only to lower the emotional intensity, but also to change the valence of certain emotions, promoting emotions of calm, tranquility, tranquility, happiness and well-being.
“I realize that if I were stable, prudent and static, I would live in death. Therefore I accept confusion, uncertainty, fear and emotional ups and downs because that is the price I am willing to pay for a fluid, perplexing and exciting life.”
Carl Rogers.