Parental guidance work is a specific and specialized area within child and adolescent psychology. It is important to remember that a minor cannot and should not be treated without intervening with his/her parents or guardians.
Parental orientation is based on analyzing and doing therapy, only if necessary, on the paternal-maternal function. For example, to know if the same parenting guidelines are followed, if the formation of values and the ways of setting rules, limits and handling complicated behaviors of the children are agreed upon and functional.
Through parental guidance, we accompany parents in the different challenges posed by their children at each stage of development, helping them to understand their characteristics and needs and to overcome conflicts or anxieties at each stage.
In which cases is it useful to resort to parenting psychology?
Parental counseling can be useful in the face of important changes in the family nucleus that affect adults, since it is important to remember that any change in the environment affects children. We refer to changes such as, for example, an illness, loss of job, loss of a close relative (especially grandparents or father – mother – brother), change of home, couple crisis, birth of a new child, etc.
In those cases in which the appearance of symptoms in the children is observed in coincidence or as a reaction to these critical events. Another important reason is the difficulty to find agreement as parents, in the management of certain worrying behaviors of the children such as, for example, eating disorders, sleep, reactive behavior, addictions, school refusal, school performance problems, etc.
In these cases we analyze the different approaches given to the problem by each of the parents, we find the discrepancies and give technical advice according to the problem so that they undertake joint action plans, without contradictions between them and reinforcing their parental role, their authority and above all their sense of efficacy.
Divorces: a stressful event in every family
A divorce will affect the family nucleus and structure. It will depend on the quality of the couple’s communication and their ability to separate the conflict caused by the divorce, (which is always an adult issue, of the couple themselves), from their role as parental figures and primary protective figures for their children.
Sometimes, experts in parenting psychology receive requests for advice, prior to divorce, where we find fathers and mothers conscious and concerned about “getting it right” both in the communication of the divorce itself, as well as in what refers to living together and all the subsequent changes.
In other cases, they come after the divorce has already occurred because of the consequences it is having on their children. And these sequels, generally, are manifested in symptoms that obey to the difficulty of the children to adapt to their new life.
It is irresponsible to educate the children without talking to each other, since this leaves them with great consequences. Except in serious cases where there has been violence in the couple, and where the protective measures have suppressed communication in order to protect the woman herself and her children, the rest of the conflictive divorces require intervention from interdisciplinary teams to restore the parental role and thus prevent the children from being exposed to situations of risk or neglect.
Parentality in adolescence: some advice
Adolescence, like other stages in the life of children, represents a challenge for parents. It is important that fathers and mothers of adolescents make the leap together with their children to a somewhat different mode of communication and relationship. That is, learning to be good parents of older children.
This involves understanding their need for greater independence, their fears about the future, the enormous importance of the group of friends and their need for intimacy. For their part, parents have new fears: of losing control of their sons and daughters, of failure, of falling into drug use or addictions, or of letting them fly on their own.
Also generating more conflict is the issue of responsibility, trust and the acquisition of commitments by adolescents, both with their parents and with their school obligations. It will be vital that before entering adolescence there is already good communication with the children, that there has been an upbringing free of violence and that work has been done from early childhood in the formation of values.
The work of parental guidance is very particular and individual for each case.